Erik's Story
An interview with a Lutheran Pastor in Sweden

Martin Hallett visited Denmark and Sweden in 2003 for some speaking engagements.  The trip to Sweden was organised by Erik Johansson, a friend and member of TfT who is involved with a similar ministry in Sweden – Medvandrarna (‘walking alongside’).  Erik is a 31 year old Lutheran pastor and it was a wonderful encouragement to see how honest he is about his own sexuality.  There have been many articles about him in the Christian press in Sweden.  Many evangelical Christian leaders have said how they wish Pastors in the UK, who have homosexual issues but believe Scripture forbids homosexual sex, would speak out more publicly in the way Erik has.

Martin took the opportunity to ask Erik about his life and ministry. 

When were you first aware of your homosexuality?

I think it was when I was 11 or 12 years old. There were more unconscious feelings before that -  but I didn’t label them as homosexuality.  It’s difficult to distinguish pre-puberty feelings.

How did you respond?

I was frustrated that my feelings weren’t what I thought they should be. I had no words for them.   There was a debate in the church press in the early eighties and I remember reading one article which caused me to pray at night, “Please don’t make me homosexual!”  But I wasn’t aware that it was really an issue for me.  My early sexual fantasies did not include any genital sex, but more a longing to be together and close with the boy I loved - to be embraced and hugged.  It wasn’t until between 17 and 20 years old that I became more aware of some genital sexual attraction.  I didn’t get involved in any sexual relationships – I was too scared.  I was part of a devoted Christian family and my father was a Minister.  I was also a committed Christian and wanted to live a Godly life.

When did your family know about your sexuality?

I first told my mother when I was 15.  She just reacted by saying, “You’re too young to be sure.  Don’t worry about it.”  Then we didn’t talk about it any more.  It wasn’t until I was 19 that I told my mother and father at the same time. I was now sure that I was homosexual.

How did they react?

My father said, ”It doesn’t change anything between us. You are still our son….Let us know if there is anything we can do to help and support.   I’m sorry about your pain and struggle over the years.”   My mum is much more emotional than my dad.  I told them I had no intention of having a boyfriend because I believed it was wrong as a Christian, but my mother didn’t seem to hear this through her emotions. She said, “If you come home with a boyfriend, please don’t expect us to agree with that.”   I felt my father was able to listen and understand, but the same was not really true for my mum and that hurt me quite a lot.  After I told my father, I felt much closer to him than ever before and it was very healing for our relationship.

Both of them have since heard my story several times and are now very supportive. My mum’s initial reaction was more from her own shock at first and it took several years for us both to mend our relationship.   When I first became public in a Christian newspaper, three years after I first told them, my mum’s reaction was, “Was it really necessary for you to tell them!”  I think she was worried about me and the possible consequences.  When it was printed, I noticed my father copied the article and handed it out to the rest of the staff in the parish office to show his colleagues.  That also meant a lot to me.  Clearly once I had become ‘public’ they were proud of me and gave all the support they could.

When did you know you were called to the ordained ministry?

I had some ideas about it when I was 15 or 16.  I wanted to be really sure before I took it further.  I had seen many ministers who weren’t suitable at all.   It was on the 30th April 1994 that I finally decided to leave my studies and go to theological college.  I was studying music at the Royal College of Music in Stockholm.  I was aiming to eventually teach people how to sing classical music and I was beginning to sing publicly myself.

Did your homosexuality affect your calling?

Yes it did.  I had an idea that I wanted to minister to homosexual people and also I was quite clear that I wanted to be open. It was obvious that being a Lutheran priest with a homosexual orientation would be controversial, but I though that as a priest it would be very important for me to be honest.  I didn’t want people to find out, after I was ordained.  I didn’t want to mislead others, just to make my own way in the ministry.   At all my interviews I told them about my homosexuality, so they would know all about me and no one could afterwards accuse me of withholding any truth about myself.   I thought, “Well if I’m not accepted as a minister then that’s fine.  I didn’t choose this in the first place and there are other things I can do.”

The bishop said, “Why do you have to mention it all the time.  Is it really that important.”   I said, “As it is a very hot issue, I want to be honest so that it doesn’t need to be discussed in the future.”

Does it affect your ministry now?  

It doesn’t affect it.  I’ve been honest and I’ve been accepted in the ministry and ordained.  Occasionally people come to me to talk and share their stories, not just about their sexuality, but because they trust me because of my openness.  But in my everyday ministry in the church I function just like any other priest.  I don’t think people see me as a homosexual, but as their pastor.

You have been open publicly as a Lutheran priest with homosexual issues and the belief that homosexual sex is wrong as a Christian.   What have been the reactions of your ‘conservative’ and ‘liberal’ colleagues?

I have had surprisingly few reactions, but there have been some.  Most have been very positive and affirming.  Even the liberals seem to respect my choices and beliefs, but say that it isn’t the same for everyone.  I always make my beliefs clear, but some liberals do react a bit defensively, I think.  They find it difficult to ‘put me in one of their boxes’.  They can’t accuse me of being homophobic and so don’t know quite how to react.

What have been the reactions of your congregation?

There haven’t been many reactions at all.  There have been a few positive ones.  I’ve only heard about negative responses through other people, but then only once or twice.

Do you have a vision for the work of supporting Christians with homosexual issues?

I wish we could come to a situation where more Christians with homosexual issues in the church could see there is an alternative to gay relationships.  I would also like to see more people like myself showing the church that this is possible.

What do you believe about changing towards heterosexuality – for yourself and others?

I don’t think this should be the main issue.  I think Jesus calls us to follow him, whatever our sexuality.  If my sexuality changes towards heterosexuality, that’s fine with me, but it’s not necessary for me to be used by God.

Would you like to be married?

Today no, I prefer not to be.  I see myself as one of the unmarried people Jesus describes in Matthew 19.   Some people, who are single through life’s circumstances, therefore have the gift of singleness and celibacy, just as some have the gift of marriage.  As I see it there are two gifts, to be married or not to be married.  Both are gifts from God.

How do you feel about your sexuality, positively… negatively?

Well it’s a struggle at times.  But I’m also grateful for it, because through it I’ve seen the love and Grace of God much stronger and clearer than I would have otherwise.

I also realise that God makes use of my sexuality to reach out to people with the Gospel.  My struggles have made me aware of my own dark side and therefore the struggles of all humanity.  I’ve seen the reality of evil within myself, but also the reality of God’s Grace. I think this experience of God’s Grace is one of the best things that can happen to us.  So if the struggles help me experience this, it makes me grateful for them.

What can we pray for you?

For more support for me and Medvandrarna

For humility. It’s easy to become hard hearted and believing I’m stronger than I am