TfT has over 1,500 members who receive our Newsletter by post each quarter. Below are extracts from our last two newsletters:
Extract from the Summer 2008 Newsletter:
Jonathan writes:
I’m often struck by Jesus’ words in John 10 v 10, where he declares “I’ve come that they (the sheep) may have life and have it to the full.” How often, I wonder, do we think of the Christian life as a life of fullness? Is that our daily experience? How about our friends, family and colleagues who are not Christians – would they look at us and see lives being lived “to the full”? Or would our witness make them think being a Christian is completely restrictive and unsatisfying, that our God must be a killjoy?
Sadly I suspect for the majority of us who struggle with issues of same-sex attraction, the reality is somewhat different to Jesus’ declaration. A number of us feel, don’t we, we’re missing out on life by following the Bible’s teaching and denying ourselves involvement in a “full-on” same-sex relationship. We wonder if life wouldn’t be so much more fulfilling if we had a partner with whom to share the joys, sorrows, pleasures and pain of life in God’s world. Even those who are perhaps happily married to someone of the opposite sex, I’m sure you too have moments of feeling unfulfilled, craving perhaps for same-sex intimacy.
But surely Jesus’ words are as true for those of us involved with TfT as they are for our brothers and sisters who don’t struggle in this whole area of same-sex attraction. In what sense, then, does Jesus want us to have life and have it to the full? We know, of course, that complete fullness of life comes when we go to be with the Lord in heaven, which we’re assured by Paul is “better by far.” But is that our only hope? Does the Christian life only offer us pie in the sky when we die? Are we destined to an unfulfilling life of struggle, heartache, frustration, denial and unhappiness in the here and now, followed by jam on our bread when we’re dead?
Well it’s true, the authentic Christian life is intended to be one of self-denial; the New Testament stresses that often. Yet in Mark Chapter 10 v 29-30, Jesus promises those who give up things “for me and the gospel” will not fail “to receive a hundred times as much in this present age...” Paul prayed for the Ephesians “that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3 v 19). Taking the teaching of the Bible as a whole, I don’t get any sense that the Christian is promised a life of complete misery and dissatisfaction now while we wait patiently for fullness of life in eternity.
What does it mean, then, in practice for us to have life to the full? To what measure should we expect to enter into such an experience now and how much of it is reserved for us in heaven in the future? If we’re not enjoying any fullness of life now, are there specific things we can do in order to make this promise of the Lord Jesus an increasing and tangible reality in our daily lives?
These are questions that I hope, by God’s grace, to begin to answer at this year’s Annual Conference. It’s a privilege to be invited once again to do some Bible teaching, which I trust will complement Glynn Harrison’s talks. My prayer is that as we open up God’s word together, we’ll meet in an engaging, vibrant way with the Good Shepherd who came that his sheep might have life and have it to the full.
Firstly, many thanks for all the birthday wishes I received. It was an amazing surprise, but meant a lot. I had no idea that Chris secretly popped a note into the last newsletter!!
I am really looking forward to hearing Glynn and Jonathan at this year’s conference in (hopefully) warm and sunny October. I was with Glynn on a day conference he organised last year. I was very impressed by his thorough and well balanced approach to all the theories about the causes and possibilities of change in same sex attractions.
Glynn has written an article alongside mine in the magazine ‘Nucleus’ for Christian medical students - we have copies available at £1.20 – to order your copy see the Response slip.
Many of you will remember Jonathan speaking for us a few years ago. He is an excellent Bible teacher and another example of exciting new developments within TfT as more members are prepared to speak on our behalf.
by Ray
Risk Assessment is all the fashion these days, isn’t it?
Teachers have to fill in half a dozen forms if they are taking their children on a school trip, ticking off whether they consider the planned activities to be of high, medium or low risk. Owners of new buildings must make sure that their premises are safe for staff and visitors alike. Then, think about the car. Every time we go out on the road …
Let’s face it, we are never far from danger, are we?
Okay, now ponder something very different, but related.
What a tremendous risk God took when he accepted you and me into his family.
The cost of that transaction was the death of his much-loved Son.
Even though the relationship between us started off well, there was always the possibility that temptation, boredom, miscellaneous other interests could enter the scene and spoil the developing warmth and intimacy with the Lord. The opportunity to throw it all away was always there.
But, with you and me in his heart, God believed the risk to be worth taking.
Look once more at the delightful story in the New Testament, Paul writing to Philemon on behalf of the runaway slave Onesimus. The little letter spells out grace from beginning to end. The apostle lays his reputation on the line when he says: “Welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me… I will pay it back.”
Paul had complete confidence in ‘Mr Useless’, and was ready even to sacrifice the good will and friendship between himself and Philemon, in the event that the servant did not come up to standard. It was a great risk!
The whole of heaven is on our side, giving us the encouragement and support we so desperately need to be able to cope with the stresses and pressures of daily living. We know what we mean, and God does too.
To keep the lines of communication open, we dare not embark on any fresh venture or course of action, wander into any uncharted territory without first assessing the risk.
How tragic if we were to lose the fight because of our own foolishness, casting all caution to the wind, missing out on the eternal joys because of our pre-occupation with temporary pleasures.
Jesus is praying for us, constantly and consistently, aware of the risks that we face, and ever-present to carry us through. He is prepared to say to his Father: ‘I know these people, I love them dearly and I would go again to the cross for them. Of course, it is a risk, and they might continue walking away from me, but please take them back when they give in, when they struggle, when they can’t cope. One day they will be with me, and I so look forward to that moment!’
Saturday 5th April Speaker: Gerald Coates
By Phil
This was my 4th conference (2nd London one), and yet again I’ve been encouraged, learnt something, built some friendships and been grateful for the space to be honest, and chat with others who are walking this challenging path with a desire to put God first.
Every aspect of the day was great, from the worship, thoughtfully led by Darren, which was really helpful to get my mind focused on why we were there (after a difficult couple of days); to the teaching from Gerald, which was good and thought provoking; to the small group discussion, which I always find helpful (when we put what we’ve heard into ‘real’ terms and look at how we can apply it to our lives); to the Q&A session, which was probably one of the best I’ve been to, and was full of great insights.
I was looking forward to hearing from Gerald, as I only knew him by reputation, and I wasn’t disappointed. He shared a bit of his story and then opened up Luke 15 to us (the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin and the prodigal son). He shed some new light on the passage for me, and it was great to be reminded just how much God loves and cares for us as individuals. God is love, and even when Judas was about to betray him, Jesus still calls him friend – even when we mess up, God considers us his friend, and that is a truth I often forget. No matter how far we fall, or what we do, God still welcomes us back with open arms – we don’t have to be perfect, or have this issue sorted before we can come to him, the door is always open. Praise God.
However, this isn’t an excuse to sin and he also challenged us not to let bad practices go unnoticed and become a way of life – we need to constantly grow and mature and change, and I don’t want to be the same in 20 years time. Jesus is the only answer, and it is worth reminding ourselves that our identity is not based on our issues, or how well we do at overcoming them, but it is based on the truth of God’s word.
“Whatever comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you.” Gerald came back to this quote a couple of times, and I think this is one we should all take time to consider. If we only see God as a judge, then we miss out on so much because that it just one aspect of his character. What comes to your mind?
He talked about 3 stages of friendship: Veneer (that initial stage with a new friend when they can’t do a thing wrong, and we set up this illusion that they are perfect); sooner or later something happens and we experience Disillusionment, when we realise they are not quite who we thought they were; a lot of people then Opt Out, and back away from the relationship but if we keep doing this we will never form those deep intimate friendships that we were designed for. Instead, when we experience Disillusionment, we need to recognise reality and make a Re-Commitment. This is such a simple truth, but I could relate to it, and think it explains why so many people struggle to maintain a long-term friendship/ relationship.
I didn’t agree with everything Gerald said, but it is good to be provoked and get into God’s word to find the truth for ourselves.
I just want to encourage anyone who hasn’t been to a conference before to come along – it is well worth it. Thanks to everyone involved for organising this one.
by Frank
On Saturday February 23rd about a dozen of us met in London with Tony Tufnell, an accredited Christian Counsellor, for a series of discussions on the subject of Addictions. This was not specifically about sexual addictions, although they are, of course, a significant element.
Tony’s presentation was excellent, giving a clear and concise overview of many aspects relating to addiction issues. His talks were supplemented with diagrammatic illustrations and charts, and by memorable practical demonstrations.
We started with a look at how the many influences, including parental and other authority figures, in childhood can be the roots of addictions in later life. He showed how a lack of love was the elemental cause of all addictions. This is seen in the difference responses in the child to either a critical and non-affirming parent / teacher / youth-worker etc or to a warm and intuitive authority influence. We examined the difference between habits and addictions, the point at which a habit becomes an addiction, and the addictive cycle itself.
We went on to look at ways in which we can relate meaningfully to those struggling with addictions and if appropriate put them in touch with the professional help that they need. We saw the need to demonstrate practically in our own lives the love and grace of God, and to be accepting, non-judgemental and uncondemning as we recognise the grace we have ourselves received.
Finally, we touched on the need to care for ourselves in all this and to have good accountability in place for our own preservation.
I was not alone in feeling that this was a most worthwhile day, full of useful instruction and insights.
by Stuart
We now have 93 members registered on the TfT Members Area, which is good. For joining instructions, please see page 5. If you’re already registered, please post some messages and mention it to other members, so we can make the forums busier.
In the first few months of the Members Area, here are a few highlights of what members have posted:
Two tips for using the Members Area:
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Extract from the Spring 2008 Newsletter:
Martin writes:
I was recently browsing through some evangelical Christian ministry websites that many members of TfT know well. I often commend them in my talks. I noticed we were not mentioned as a link, yet are known well by them. I wondered if it was because of the issue of ‘change in sexual orientation’ which we do not promote in the way other organisations do? I continually stress that sexual feelings can and do change in many people’s experience. I say, as we work through issues of our self-worth with God and one another, we may find our homosexual feelings change or diminish, but also stress they may not do so. I refuse to claim it as an inevitable consequence of God’s work in our lives. In my opinion, to do so would be dishonouring to God and encouraging the perfectionism and self-hate on which Satan (the Accuser and Deceiver) feeds.
It made me wonder if many Christians feel the need to offer the hope of a change in sexual orientation because it, for them, makes some sense of why God in Scripture says any homosexual sexual act is wrong. In other words, they believe homosexual sex is wrong, because God can take away your same sex desires and replace them with heterosexual ones. Christians are often encouraged to believe that if something offends God it is because it is also harmful. For example most sins like greed, pride, envy, stealing and jealousy can be clearly seen to have detrimental effects on all involved. However, when we are faced with two people who love each other and want to live in a monogamous homosexual relationship, it is usually difficult to see any negative consequences. Indeed sometimes we meet people in such a relationship whose lives have been transformed by it, from frustration and loneliness to happiness and fulfilment. In some cases the therapeutic effects have been physically, emotionally and mentally life transforming. Certainly non-Christians witnessing this will see TfT’s views as immoral, apparently seeking to deny people happiness and fulfilment. No wonder I am sometimes heard to say, “I often wish I did not believe what I believe about Godly sexual morality!”
Many evangelicals miss the vital theological issue in sexual morality. It is really about the significance of the ‘profound mystery of a one flesh relationship’. Here is the controversial bit!!! - I wonder if the Protestant reformers got it wrong when they said ‘marriage is not a sacrament*’? God is offended by any sex outside this ideal for theological not sociological reasons. I say this so often.
Recently someone said, “Martin, this is absolutely vital to the current church debate and you need to state it more clearly on the front of your webpage!”
*“Sacrament — noun
A symbolic religious ceremony in the Christian Church, such as baptism or communion… something regarded as sacred.” Collins English Dictionary
By Stuart
Thank you to those 42 members who completed the survey on what you would like for future newsletters. Here I’ve picked out the main findings.
Purpose of the newsletter: Around 95% of respondents thought that the newsletter should focus on encouragement and sharing information.
Distribution: Although 95% of respondents indicated that they could receive the newsletter via email, only 45% actually wanted to, with the majority preferring the printed copy through the post.
New additions: The following bar chart shows the popularity of various suggested options for future newsletters.
Clearly, there is a strong demand for a broader range of writers and also interest in information on more local activity.
Some of the other ideas for inclusion in future newsletters are included below:
Prayer points
Members’ testimonies
Book reviews
Letters page
In depth articles on issues
Frequently asked questions
Practical advice
Updates on members
Summaries of scientific research
We will look at including some or all of these ideas in future newsletters. In view of widening the range of writers, please let us know if you would like to write for a future newsletter.
Conference Reflections
Two TfT members give their reflections on last November’s TfT weekend. Chris attended the annual conference for the first time; Peter is a veteran TfT conference-goer.
This was my first year at the annual conference. I went along knowing only Martin Hallett and one other person from my Ways Forward With Christ group, so quite naturally I was extremely nervous when I arrived. However, the hospitality and welcoming environment soon sorted this out as I began to get to know lots of new faces. This standard of fellowship was something that continued throughout the whole weekend, and was one of the many high points. It was a great encouragement to hear the stories of Christians of all ages and from all backgrounds, of how they walk with Christ through their Same Sex Attractions.
The teaching focused on bearing fruit for Christ, and this was an excellent series of talks from Jeanette as she used the image of fruit to share some of her experiences through her own struggles. This teaching was on the whole something that ought to be applied to Christian discipleship in its entirety. I thoroughly recommend purchasing the recordings if you would like more detail of the teaching.
It was also good to look at the TfT strategy for this New Year, and particularly consider the challenge of how we, as TfT members, can be a part of that work. Certainly something to prayerfully consider.
So overall the weekend was great: a superb challenge and encouragement to my faith, and some new friends. If you haven't been to a conference, please do consider the wonderful resources that there are to help us all continue walking forward with Christ in our relationship with Him.
By Chris
This was TfT Conference number seven for me. I enjoyed and benefited from it, and am glad that I made the time to partake. The same ingredients were there that make these weekends so valuable: the relaxed pace, the enthralling worship and the grace of fellowship. The main speaker didn’t particularly inspire me but I know that others found it very helpful and for that I am glad. I enjoyed the opportunity on the Sunday morning to reflect on what TfT was about, and its plans for 2008. It is good that we take these chances to think together about the shape of our ministry. The small groups were a valuable chance to discuss, share and pray with just a few folk. There were also many opportunities for fun such as the Saturday afternoon adventures and evening entertainment. However, the main treasure for me is the opportunity to converse with fellow sojourners, to share our experiences and to encourage one another.
Some things don’t change from one year to the next. One is the venue in its wonderful country setting. Second is the season: November - mostly grey, cold and damp. The rich variety of quality resources – books, leaflets etc – is a welcome staple. The attention to detail of the organisers is consistently amazing, down to the treat in the welcome pack. But what I treasure most is the reunion of brothers and sisters in Christ. It is encouraging to renew fellowship with folk, some of whom I only see once a year at these conferences. It is encouraging because, by their presence year by year, these TfT members are demonstrating their commitment to go on in Christ, against all the temptations and trials of this life. That’s a message I need to keep hearing too.
By Peter
By Ray
Amateur dramatics in my teenage years always gave me a lot of pleasure. Taking part in competitions and Christmas productions, directing, writing and performing in sketches and short plays: all resulted in a great sense of satisfaction and achievement.
I clearly recall the passing comment of a course tutor on one occasion. “A little praise goes a long way.”
I don’t doubt that we can all relate to those wise words, particularly if we are on the receiving end and we know we have done well. Think back to parents and schoolteachers in those formative days, remember the relationship with your first employer or the pastor of your church.
Encouragement is what it is really about.
In reality, though, most of us find that, as time goes on, such expressions of identification and support become few and far between.
I wonder why.
We read in Scripture of King David, who, when troubled and in dire circumstances, “encouraged himself in the Lord” (1 Samuel 30:6).
We too, so long after, can follow his example, since we enjoy an intimacy and fellowship with God, which allows us to come to him in instances of grief and temptation, as well as in moments of peace and delight. He is gracious and merciful enough to take pity and bring to us the reassurance and comfort that we long for. With that new-found hope, we are able to take blessing to brothers and sisters in similar situation.
As we sit with another, it is seldom necessary to say something, even “I know what you’re going through”! Just being there, with no hidden motive, no desire for recognition or thanks is quite enough.
How many times in Paul’s epistles does he challenge his readers to exercise this gracious gift?
God’s care of us, when we are struggling, when we are not certain of what we want any more or which way to turn, his whispers of acceptance and love, are they not a pointer to us to treat in like manner those he sends across our path?
A text, a card, a phone-call; a hand on the shoulder when we meet; a brief exhortation, if appropriate, to take courage and stick with it.
In TfT, we know how much encouragement means. We sleep and smile more easily, we concentrate better on the things that matter, our Christian testimony is more powerful. If we don’t do it, who will?
By Andy
After an exploratory meeting and a Christmas meal out (complete with Secret Santa!) the Abingdon Barnabas Group had its first meeting this month.
I've been really encouraged by how friendly and accommodating everyone has been, and it's been a privilege to have contact with such inspiring Christians. The group has both male and female members of varying ages and no doubt we all have had different experiences, but we all share in common a will to honour God with our lives and explore (what certainly seems in my life at the moment like) 'this mystery', together.
There's so much potential: people have expressed wishes to worship, study, discuss books and 'do' accountability together, and the prospect of having friendships to underpin all this is exciting.
I know it can seem daunting meeting up with a group of people for the first time, but I can honestly say from experience that it's really helpful.