Origins

If these feelings aren't right for Christians, then how are we going to experience the true freedom we so often glibly talk about?

Let's look at some of the deep-rooted origins of our guilt that hurt so much. We know that one of the major root causes of homosexual development is a low sense of self worth and identity. We might say, for instance:

"Who Am I?" - "I feel empty and lonely inside!"

These early roots have continually served to encourage and develop the deep inner pain and hurt of guilt. They originate from childhood where the hurts of those dear to us have also influenced our own lives to one degree or another. It obviously varies in each person's situation. For example, some of us have not been allowed to find ourselves as individuals because of too much emotional pressure from a parent. We have been encouraged to live up to expectations that we never feel we meet. The 'message' we may have received as a result of this is: "You will only be acceptable when you are like this..." We may therefore feel a sense of guilt for not living up to the expectations of others and ourselves.

A parent who has felt hurt can also sometimes demand too much emotional support from the child. This isn't always obvious, but can be a very subtle influence and pressure. The child then believes "I only have a right to 'live or be' for others" or "I always have to please others rather than myself!"

This is often called co-dependency and sadly when Jesus asks us to 'lay down our lives for our friends' this can wrongly be interpreted as encouraging co-dependency. If we continually feel a sense of failure, or we believe we have no right to please ourselves, then guilt becomes a painful and unbearable burden. We cannot be free of it. Perhaps later on in life this can result in anger towards people who make us feel guilty... "You are hurting me - stop attacking me!"