Finding support

The following day Michael went back home to his new partner assured of our love for him. It was strange to see my husband embrace Michael and express his love for him. Yet what was our alternative - telling him to go and not darken our door again till he had repented of his sin? He hadn't taken his case out of the car when he first arrived because he thought we might say just that!

Very early the next morning after a sleepless night, I remembered a book that a dear friend had given us a couple of years before at the time she had been widowed. It was by an American lady called Barbara Johnson in which she spoke of discovering her own son was gay, and how she came to the knowledge that God's love was the answer in her situation. I remember reading this at the time and thinking that's wonderful for her, but what has this got to do with me? I found the book and my husband and I scoured it until we found the relevant pages. We read her advice about taking your precious child to the very throne of God, trusting God with him, and walking away. How the tears flowed - we just held each other and prayed. This was a Sunday morning and we went to our Fellowship and were truly able to worship the Lord with such a deep feeling of being loved. During that meeting I went to the front and said "Over this weekend we have had a blow to our personal lives that, without the help of God, we couldn't stand, but I know that God is true to His word when He says in Romans 8:37

"... in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

After the meeting dear friends from our home group gathered around very concerned, but we told them we would meet up with them later. We did see them later and explained what Michael had shared with us. They were sad for us and then supportive with their love and prayers. The following Sunday we spoke to our pastor with fear and trembling. But we had no need to fear as when we told him his first response was to put his hand on my husband and say, "I am so sorry". Then he told us that though we could not agree with Michael's choice of lifestyle, we must still love him. Since then our pastor has advised us on more than one occasion not to let Michael's sexuality be the central issue of our life. Instead, at the centre of our lives is to be our relationship with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ - He who was crucified for all our sins.

Please don't think us to be a super spiritual couple who do not feel the pain and sorrow of what Michael has shared with us. In one meeting at the end of August we sang "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand". Unbeknown to me my husband had been singing this to himself in the weeks following July 17th. He turned to me and broke down with loud sobbing. I couldn't take his weight and a dear friend came and held him while he sobbed. Bless him, he didn't ask any questions and he was just the arms my husband needed for that time. My own tears do flow but as yet I haven't 'broken down' in quite the same way.

In my search for someone who could tell me they had 'been there' - someone who could also tell me the pain would become easier with the passing of time - I made contact with a lady in Scotland who has a gay son. She and her husband had known about their son's homosexuality for about ten years, and they have become a great source of strength to us. They even invited us last November to their home in Scotland and we spent a delightful weekend with them. They made a return visit to us just a couple of weeks ago. Her husband has been so helpful to mine, reassuring him that he totally understood where he was, and giving him space to 'break down' once again. This dear couple have also shown us that the way they live is to keep trusting in Jesus for their son, but at the same time living their own life together before the Lord. We are now delighted to count these folk among our best friends!