Conclusions

Now, some 12 years after becoming a Christian, I can see all that God has done in my life. For me that has included getting married (that's a story in itself); my lovely wife and I have three terrific children. I now lead a support group in London, part of the True freedom Trust (TfT), a Christian ministry for people with homosexual struggles. I've found that there are several other people in my church who share the same struggles. I'm watching the debate within the church about homosexuality and more recently I've found myself sharing my own journey and experiences with the leaders of my church, the same church through which I became a Christian. Reactions have been mixed, some encouraging, some not so; some listen and try to understand, some own up to not having all the answers.

For me, the struggles go on, although I'm stronger and better able to cope than I was. I am seeking to answer God's call on my life not to gratify the desires of my sinful nature, and to sacrifice those desires on the altar of obedience to his will, his pure, perfect and loving will. He really is a Father God, who wants nothing but the best for his children and who instructs us in ways that will lead us to life. He is a jealous God who wants us for his very own.

And for the future? I wouldn't begin to compare the anguish of this life to what is ahead; there really is no comparison. There is a day coming when the aching will be gone and I will finally rest in God. Then it will be over, the battle won and everything conquered; then, at last, I will meet face-to-face the man I first met in my Good News Bible - the man Jesus Christ.