Gratitude

I knew my goal of 90 days could be achieved. That, however, was still too fleshly: in fact, I was trying to do a deal with God. I would cut down to 4 times a year. But God said to me; "I don't do deals, and I hate compromise!" - just another lesson to learn. It has now been 8 months since I last masturbated. I do not know if I have stopped forever. Temptations come from time to time; occasionally far too strongly and too close for comfort. His word says; "Let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall." I now have a very keen sense of sin just lurking at the door, and I have to keep that door shut with His help. I have to guard against jealous feelings against brothers that I know still enjoy the occasional sin in this area for I cannot deny, that often I really enjoyed it.

Overall though, I am so so grateful to God for what He has done in me and what I have learned through the whole experience of living through this challenge with Him. I would not have had my life any other way. He accepts me and so do I. I'm glad I'm gay, or I would never have received the blessings I have in this last year. He has truly been teaching me to boast about, and indeed, glory in my weaknesses. They are His opportunities for displaying His mighty power at work in me. His ways have been gentle and my fears of allowing Him to deal with these things were shown to be groundless. He truly knows our frailties and works with us. I am now so much more willing to let Him deal with other things in me than I ever was before.