Humbled for ministry

THEN AFTER FOUR YEARS AS A CHRISTIAN, I struggled with homosexual feelings and temptations. I was shocked and horrified, but my attitude towards others changed quite dramatically. I was beginning to learn a lesson in humility, a bit like the 'thorn in the flesh' the Apostle Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. This was to be a part of my healing, in terms of wholeness, as it helped me understand more about myself, God's Grace, and other people. This has been a familiar pattern in my story. If I cannot understand a person's feelings and reactions, I become judgmental. Then I find myself in a similar situation! Jesus is helping me understand, and therefore be more of a 'whole Christian'. It is all part of God's unique work in my story.

True freedom Trust was founded in 1977 as I wanted to share with other Christians struggling with homosexuality what I had learnt and was learning. There was also a need for the Church to have more understanding and compassion. I was amazed to find Christians prepared to travel hundreds of miles just to meet another Christian who might understand their struggles and conflicts with homosexuality and Christianity. Sometimes they wanted God to completely change their sexual orientation. Often they were Christian leaders, but even if not they were terrified of any other Christians knowing about their struggles.

"I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!" This had been the cry of my heart for as long as I could remember. When sexual frustration started to enter my life again, there were times when I longed to be hugged - to be held and to hold another person. I had experienced something of this in one relationship, but it was short lived and opened up areas of my emotional needs which seemed difficult to resolve.