Deception Leads to Discipline

Had I been ushered to a supply closet, I would not have selected addictive sexual brokenness as my identifying sin. Though temptation is not a sin, engaging in homosexual behavior is, not because the SBC voted to recognize it as such, but because the Bible makes it clear. It separates one from God, and, in cases like mine, can separate the person from his church family.

Church discipline is one of the most difficult things a man or woman will ever endure. It can lead to being declared unrepentant and removed from the fellowship of the church. So strong was the pull of same-sex attraction on my life that I experienced this twice. Evidence presented; recommendation made; vote cast.

Church discipline should always seek the repentance and restoration of the offender. If a church member is expelled, church members regard him as a nonbeliever. If enacted in error, this judgment leaves a Christian on the outside struggling against his sin without the support of a church family. For men and women overcoming homosexuality, a pivotal part of healing and restoration is the need to be included . . . to be a part of the body of Christ.

After being confronted with my sin by church leaders, I stood in my church confessing my sexual brokenness and looking out into the congregation knowing there were others like me sitting there and listening to what I truly believed at the time would be my final confession as I walked into freedom. Some of them knew I knew about them; others did not, but it must have been a terrifying time for them to see me in that position. And it must have been truly demoralizing for them when they heard later of other falls.

Repentance is not easily measured; the fruit may grow slower than we would hope. With the help of First Stone, an Exodus ministry in Oklahoma City, I learned that overcoming homosexual temptation is a journey, replete with stumbling in most cases. You pick yourself up and move forward. Such “falling” may resemble non-repentance, despite the personal pain and remorse that tears away at you inside. Often, when the struggler falls, the patience of those who are watching finds its limit.