Conclusions

When coming to terms with God’s view of gay sex, I had to ask myself more practical questions. If God is ok with gay relationships, is that just one loving monogamous relationship or is God also ok with the kind of casual gay sex I was actually engaged in? I came to see that engaging in casual sex meant ignoring all the other commands about fornication, adultery, self abuse, and treating others as you would wish to be treated.

It was a huge relief for me to find out that God didn’t hate me for my sexuality: all sex outside of heterosexual marriage is equally bad. The bible doesn’t say loads on the topic of gay sex, and certainly doesn’t exceptionalise it. The bible talks about hypocrisy or love of money more often than sexual immorality, and all sex outside of heterosexual marriage is lumped together as ‘sexual immorality’.

Gay sex became one of the many things in my life I came to see as putting my own desires before God’s, and eventually I made the difficult decision to live a life of celibacy. I’d been proving that living for God and in line with his wishes for me was infinitely better in the small things, and this gave me confidence to make the same decision about something which seemed much bigger. Five years on I have found it far easier than I thought in many ways.

I haven’t found life as a Christian lonely as I assumed it would be. Practically, being part of a community where everyone is trying to love each other means you notice not having that ‘special someone’ less. Realistically, even lifelong relationship doesn’t bring true happiness - people grow apart, people die, affections grow cold. My affections are much safer directed toward a loving creator God who came to earth to die for me, that’s true love!