Masturbation
: A Christian viewpoint and some resolutions
by
Martin Hallett
Masturbation is a subject, which many Christians seem wary
to discuss, myself included. This is probably because it is very ‘close to
home’ for a great many, perhaps the majority of Christians. The Bible seems strangely silent on
the subject, as far as direct references are concerned; yet it must have been
one of the most common sexual practices then, as it is today. For many Christians it is a major
problem that results in many spiritual battles. I certainly meet many Christians laden with guilt as a
result of a masturbation problem.
One person I know wrote in large letters on the bedroom wall, “Your
body is a temple of the Holy Spirit”. Even with that great Biblical truth before him, he often
found it impossible to resist the temptation to masturbate before going to
sleep.
Is it wrong?
Some Christians would say without a doubt that it is a sin
to masturbate - and that is all there is to say about it. Other Christians claim that our
bodies need to release sexual tension, and masturbation is the only way of
doing this outside marriage. This
group of people would probably qualify their acceptance of masturbation by
saying that it must not become a bondage.
Jesus shows us that we cannot be held blameless for bad
thoughts. In Matthew 5:28 He gives
us an example of a man looking at a woman lustfully, which He says is
equivalent to committing adultery with her in the heart. A little earlier, the Lord said that
anyone who is angry with his brother will be as subject to judgment as a
murderer, and that anyone who says, “You fool” will be in danger of the fire
of Hell. We often have real
problems as a result of a glance at an attractive person, but tend to forget
about anger and contempt. Jesus
was making His point in the environment of religious show and hypocrisy. The words ‘lust’ and ‘adultery’ carry
a strong weight of meaning.
Literally they mean something like - ‘a burning desire to possess
someone else’s husband or wife sexually’. Yet Satan often tries to bring us under condemnation every
time we see someone attractive, even though we have no intention of trying to
have sex with the person concerned.
Of course the attraction can lead to a problem with temptation, which
we often enjoy entertaining.
There is a fine line between desire as temptation and desire as lust,
which is, of course, sinful.
Jesus tells us how to avoid playing around with temptation - “If
your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out...” (Matthew 5:29).
I believe the area of sin in masturbation must be mainly
in the fantasy involved, rather than the physical act itself. Having said that, of course, any
behaviour we are not able to control is wrong, because it has become a form
of idolatry. Therefore, I don’t
believe that every act of masturbation is necessarily sinful, but many
certainly are, because of the sexual fantasies involved.
There is no evidence that sexual stimulation has any
adverse physical side effects.
It should be avoided because of the wider implications of frequent
masturbation and the dangers of entertaining sexual temptation.
1. It can
easily become a bondage (sin) and rule one’s life.
2. It can be a hindrance
to successful sexual intercourse in marriage.
3. It can
harm our relationships with other people, especially when we are tempted to
see them as potential fuel for sexual fantasies.
4. It can
encourage us to be introspective and self-seeking - living in a fantasy world
in which we avoid relating to people.
Non–sexual motivations
In men, masturbation can be a non-erotic release of semen,
which has accumulated in the seminal vesicles and is released with very
little physical stimulation.
Underlying needs
The presenting problem may be masturbation, but it is not
the real problem. The underlying
problems are usually loneliness, lack of fulfilling relationships, lack of
direction, interest and excitement in life. A lack of self-acceptance and feelings of inadequacy can
also lead someone to resort to a fantasy world of sexual relationships. God wants to meet all these needs and
heal the fears and hurts that often stand in the way of this healing. The underlying problems are the
most important ones to deal with.
You may be able to overcome a particular habit, like masturbation, but
if the underlying cause is not resolved, another habit or problem will
probably emerge.
The old lifestyle
Masturbation is often the last stronghold to go of an old
lifestyle. We may have forsaken
a fairly promiscuous lifestyle and turned to Christ, but still fondle the
memories of the old life in our sexual fantasies. This is playing with fire, in many ways, because it means
we haven’t forsaken our old pattern of thinking. We need to experience ‘renewal of our minds’ continually,
in every area of our lives (Romans 12:2).
Some practical suggestions
1. If
compulsive masturbation is a problem, break the chain of events that often
lead to it. A particular
situation associated with it can be changed. For example, if bedtime presents a problem, it can be
helpful to read a Bible or Christian literature, as you fall to sleep. This may sound a bit ridiculous, but
it is a question of breaking an association of ideas (ie bedtime =
masturbation). It is also a good
way of making us appreciate the presence of the Lord.
2. Talk to God
about how you are feeling. Learn
to listen to Him. One person
told me that he realised that he should be prepared to share every situation
with the Lord Jesus. If he was
not prepared to do this in times of masturbation, then it must be wrong. It can be helpful, when we are not
likely to become sexually aroused, to remember a sexual fantasy or habit
and bring the Lord Jesus into it through our imagination. We must visualise Jesus making us
stop whatever we are doing. If we
can use our imagination for sexual fantasies why can’t we use them to express
the reality of Jesus’ presence?
We can also use our imaginations to help us experience the reality of
taking our sins and guilt to the Cross, as we see God’s agony in freeing us
from the guilt and punishment they deserve. We can imagine Jesus destroying the sinful act of which we
feel guilty and repent. The
associating of Jesus’ presence with us in this way should make it difficult
to forget about Him when faced with the real situation.
3. Relationships
of commitment and honesty with other Christians (ie mutual honesty and
openness) is one of the most helpful ways of meeting the underlying needs in
many areas of our lives, and experiencing Christ’s healing. Beware the Accuser of the Brethren
(Satan) who will try to encourage a bondage of guilt and a preoccupation with
‘secret’ sexual problems.
Endless worrying about problems like masturbation usually encourages
them. It also helps to blind our
minds to other areas of our lives with which we need to deal.
Live one day at a time and remember that despair
and condemnation are not from your Heavenly
Father. Keep your eyes on Jesus,
who will help you fight the battle against all your problems. He longs for you to experience
wholeness, fulfilment and joy, through the Holy Spirit within God’s family.