Homophobia is usually defined as an irrational fear and prejudice towards homosexual people and the issue of homosexuality. A recent report published by The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement entitled Homophobia In The Church includes several case studies illustrating what they define as homophobia. Sadly there is no doubt, as in many other situations, that Christians have often responded to the issue of homosexuality from fear and prejudice, rather than with the understanding, graciousness and compassion of Christ.
For instance, there have been times in TfT's ministry when I have been horrified by the experiences of Christians contacting us for help and support. Some have been rejected by their, so-called, Christian friends and others have even been asked to move to another neighbourhood. The most common response experienced by these people seems to be one of fear, eg - "you must have nothing to do with our children and young people!" Of course in the vast majority of these situations, the youth are at no sexual risk whatsoever, as would be the case with the average heterosexual Christian. Having said this, I am thankful that others in TfT, who had feared rejection from their brothers and sisters in Christ, in fact experience the very opposite and are loved, affirmed and supported by their close Christian friends.
Christians struggling to obey Christ are often involved in addictive sexual behaviour. They feel wretched about themselves and their already low self- image plummets even further. In desperation they share their struggle with a church leader, who often betrays their confidence and tells others in the church, sometimes even the whole congregation. Thankfully, in my experience, sharing with the whole church is rare, although church discipline is not. The person concerned is often told they can take no further active part in the worship and cannot pray openly in the meetings. Sometimes other restrictions are imposed. Interestingly, I find that the person struggling often feels these restrictions are justified.
In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul talks about 'expelling the sexually immoral brother'. It must be noted, however, that this is in the context of the sin being approved or accepted by the sinner, eg - 'and you are proud!' (v2). Paul talks in terms of keeping the church true to the Gospel of sincerity and truth. Therefore the action of expelling, or disassociating from, the person concerned was intended to convince that person (and others in the church) that what they found acceptable was really sin. The majority of disciplined Christians I meet are, however, thoroughly convinced of their own sinfulness. They really struggle to know God's love and forgiveness. Therefore the 'punishment' they receive from the church merely confirms in them their own low self-image and makes them feel even more distant from God's redemption and the power of the Cross of Christ. The result is often to drive them back into their addictive behaviour as in the, well-known, 'cycle of addiction'. In my opinion this is not the biblical model of discipline, nor does it help the person concerned overcome their struggle with sin. Maybe it also, to some extent, denies the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross by punishing sin in this legalistic way. For example, if we punished the sin of idolatry (in all its forms) we would nearly all need to be punished!
Christian leaders, who believe and express the Scriptural prohibition of homosexual sex, are sometimes accused of being homophobic by those who take a more liberal viewpoint. This is often grossly unfair. For instance, accusations of homophobia frequently come from 'gay evangelicals' who become more liberal in their thinking and perhaps defensively react to those with whom they now disagree. They may feel criticised or even condemned by their 'former comrades or allies', even though this may not be what is really happening.
In TfT we are often contacted by church leaders who feel trapped in a painful and confusing dilemma. A Christian shares with them how they now believe their homosexual relationship is not against the teaching of Scripture. The leader is torn between caring for the person and not wanting to condone what he or she sincerely believes hurts and offends God. A question I'm frequently asked is, "How can I respond in the right way, without making them feel rejected?" So often those who make accusations of homophobia seem completely insensitive and unthinking when they accuse leaders, who genuinely love God and the homosexual person. They seem unaware of the often very painful dilemma faced by many church leaders.
Relatives and friends face a very similar dilemma, when the person they love makes a homosexual moral choice with which they profoundly disagree. "Do I invite the homosexual partners to stay in my home? Should I tell them what I really feel? Will they reject me and my faith if I do?" These reactions are rarely, if ever, homophobic responses. They are based on a genuine love for the homosexual people concerned and a desire to honour both God and them.
As already mentioned, accusations of homophobia are often made against anyone who says they believe Scripture's teaching forbids homosexual sex. Much of the campaigning for a change in the churches teaching seems to demand that any conservative opinions are changed or silenced. It often seems that freedom of choice, or disagreement with a liberal viewpoint is not to be allowed. Thankfully this type of prejudice is not there in all 'liberal Christians'. I have been encouraged by the graciousness expressed in some Christian debates by those who disagree with my more conservative viewpoint. I am grateful that some are prepared to 'agree to disagree'.
I have often experienced a tremendous sense of fear and anger towards me as a Christian, from gays and lesbians who are either not Christians or have a different Christian viewpoint. This may be a response to fear and prejudice they have themselves experienced, or they believe has been expressed by Christians. Much of the moral campaigning done by Christians on issues like the Age of Consent does seem to give the impression of 'hating the sinner as well as the sin'. Many homosexuals therefore believe, "If you are saying my sexual behaviour is wrong then you are saying I am wrong and unacceptable!" I do question if Jesus himself would be involved in some of these moral crusades and therefore if we should be?
There is a need for all of us to understand one another's fears and prejudices. We all have them. Jesus did not simply ask us to love one another as He loves us. He commanded us to do so. A wonderful quality of Christ's love is His absolute understanding and knowledge of our thinking and responses, as well as the reasons for them. We can never match that depth of knowledge for others or ourselves, but we can try. This acceptance and understanding of others does not have to mean approval or disapproval in itself, but surely it must help us to overcome our fears and prejudices, whatever their source. Finding some reasons for our prejudices, maybe as a result of our own hurts and fears, must be an important part of our personal healing and growth.
In 1 John 4:18 we read, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The man who fears is not made perfect in love." Perhaps our fear is a fear of 'receiving punishment' through being rejected, eg – a fear of being unacceptable? This can sometimes be the fear of a moralising Christian, who wants to be accepted and not rejected by other Christians, maybe even fearing God's rejection. A gay or lesbian, who feels rejected and criticised by Christians, will often express it by angrily attacking us. I personally like to flee from confrontation, if I can possible do so! I guess that says a lot about my own fears and phobias?
Working to overcome our fears and prejudices in a Christ-like way must involve giving others the freedom to disagree and not making demands of them. It must also give us the freedom to express what we believe honours and dishonours the God we love and serve. Living with the tensions, confusions and conflicts that will surface is inevitable in our humanity. But, learning to love as Jesus loves enables them to become catalysts for our growth, driving out fears or phobias, including homophobias of all types.
Martin Hallett, February 2001