David & Jonathan

One big sticking point for me had its roots in a very emotional moment as a young confused teenager when I came across the story of Jonathan & David in 1 Samuel. It seemed at the time such a positive portrayal of a blatantly gay couple in love that I concluded there was no way God disapproved of gay relationships. So many times we are told how much they loved each other and yet David is later on described as a king ‘after God’s own heart. Jonathan risks incurring the wrath of his father Saul to protect David from his murderous intentions, and the tragic ending where the two part after an emotional and intimate goodbye in an isolated field (1 Samuel 20:41) as David sets out on the run from Saul was a tear jerking ending to the love story. The description by David himself of their love as ‘more wonderful than that of women’ (2 Samuel 1:26) clinched it for me.

Ok, so maybe David was less likely to be gay (although married kind of conveniently to Jonathan’s sister, he did more convincingly have a problem with prostitutes later in life!) but Jonathan seemed to caricature the infatuated gay teenager and David did not push him away. David, the shepherd boy from the hills with the strong slingshot arm, stunning looks, and the upright morality was too much for the pampered son of the king to resist. Jonathan had the hots for him so bad he even gave him his robe on first meeting as a token of love, a kind of romantic keepsake, so I thought.

Coming to terms with what the bible says about gay sexual relationships has meant looking into the story of Jonathan & David’s relationship in more depth, and it has been a massive help. Kissing was a natural greeting in that time and culture, and they were in a field because David was in hiding not because they needed to be away from prying eyes in order to get loved up! Maybe Jonathan did even have a crush on David, which would only awesomely emphasise how God yet again used his flawed created beings to bring about his great plan for the salvation of the world. Along with a lineage involving prostitutes and judges who sacrifice their daughters, God maybe used a man struggling with same sex attraction to save David, the best king who ever was and a picture of Jesus, the perfect King to come. Just recently though I heard in a sermon an even more convincing explanation of part of this text which I think brings my understanding close to complete, and is a real example of God gradually teaching me at a pace I could handle. Jonathan giving David his robe apparently shows him handing over his right to inherit the kingship from Saul, the robe being a symbol of royalty. The love he had for David was therefore bound up in the knowledge that Saul’s kingship was under judgement and David’s was under blessing. Jonathan recognised the true king and worshipped and protected him. I find this much more exciting now than I ever found the idea of two gay biblical characters in love.

As for two male followers of God having between them a love ‘more wonderful than that of women’, I had been reading that as ‘like the sexual love between a man and woman’ rather than what it actually says quite plainly – that the love was ‘different to the sexual relationship between a man and woman’. What a wonderful reassurance for me that life need not be lonely. Non sexual loving friendships with other men is something God wants me to develop and which he promises can be deeply fulfilling.