Intimacy with God

I’ll be honest, the words “intimacy with God” haven’t always filled me with joy. I now, praise God, find myself saying, “Yes please! ‘Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you’” (Ps 73:25). Previously, my hard heart, bound up by religious pride and sexual sin, rebuffed any closeness with a seemingly judgemental God. However, when I was trying and failing to find my own satisfaction, I wanted insight into what intimacy with God could possibly mean. The experience I’m thinking of would feel something similar to this: imagine lying in the deepest spiritual bath you can where your body, soul and spirit are weightlessly held, cradled by the life-giving Spirit, as the Father and Son communicate wordlessly their eternal love for each other and for you. OK. If the bath analogy is too deep (ha!), can you imagine being so deeply known and loved that your superficial desires are transformed into glorious longing for and praise of Him? 

The Christian walk

Like Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress or Hurnard’s Hinds’ Feet on High Places, I see life as a journey. Through deserts and past roaring lions, I have travelled from self-righteousness through sexual sin to despair. By the grace of God, desperation led me firstly to surrender, then to hearing God’s voice (Jn 10:4), to knowing his presence (Ps 63:2) and more recently to experiencing his intimacy (SoS 7:10). 

I used to strive hard to really know the vastness of God’s love. Then I'd get distracted by an itchy toe or whatever. I’d be so disappointed in myself, especially if others were able to connect with God in a special way. I wanted to truly know Christ as Paul does in Philippians 3, but only had intellectual methods that didn’t allow space for my human reality. It's been revolutionary for me to realise that God is okay with me being me (Ps 103:14). Allowing myself to cultivate a ‘taste’ for the goodness of God with an itchy toe and all has been life-changing! 

The unfathomable love of God

I think two other things happened in parallel. After repenting and confessing wayward patterns of self-satisfaction, I started to humbly, hungrily yearn for more of God. Scriptures like “…my whole being longs for you” (Ps 63:1) and “…teach me your ways so I may know you” (Ex 33:13 NIV but check out the AMP!) became my daily, hourly heart-cry. His love penetrated deeply and, miraculously, persuaded me to let myself be loved as I was. Secondly, during lockdowns, my life shifted direction and I felt God inviting me to create the space needed for His heart and mine to connect more. None of these practices are innovative, nor is this list prescriptive (my ways are not your ways!), but some may be helpful prompts towards intimacy: I try to live simply, limit my screen time, set healthy boundaries, exclude busyness, exercise outside and seek holy, fun people to whom I can be accountable. 

Praise, worship and delight

I have regular, extended times of worship – unrushed time spent extolling Abba Father, allowing the love of Jesus to penetrate my hard places, rejoicing in the filling of Holy Spirit again and again and again. He never gets bored of being told how wonderful He is; I never want to tire of telling Him. (Practically this means teaching my spirit to lead my emotions etc. to respond rightly to Him). I spend regular, extended time reading the Bible and meditating on it. I pray with and through the Scriptures. I listen to His voice and obey what I hear. I spend time in silence, allowing my breath and heartbeat to be my worship. Sometimes, even in a crowded church service, communion can be an act of intimacy – His body into mine. I allow Him to love me and it’s so, so precious! 

Until the end

I hope I’ve communicated the immense joy I’ve found in intimately knowing and being known by God – GOD! One of the results of this in my life has been that others are attracted to Him. I pray that all of us will pursue Him for the rest of our earthly existences, until eternity satisfies every longing for intimacy that we’ve ever known or imagined.

This article was originally published in the Winter 2025 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.