Single Friendly Church

At the beginning of 2025, my church began the journey towards becoming a single friendly church, by working with the Single Friendly Church Network (SFCN). This is a UK‐wide organisation whose aim is to encourage churches to welcome and value single people. For a while we had been working on creating a stronger feeling of family among our members. This had initially focused on families themselves, but a small number of us gradually came to see that we needed to improve our ministry to single people. Since the beginning, one of our priorities is to create a strong sense of family among the congregation, as this is a notion that is upheld throughout the Bible, and was what Jesus intended for His church. Matthew 12:50 says “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” and 1 John 3:1 calls us “children of God.” God intends the people in His church to be family to one another. 

From Isolation to Inclusivity

In the UK, approximately 40% of the adult population is single. This statistic covers all age groups and circumstances. Our desire is that everyone who calls our church their church will feel at home here and part of a wider church family, whether they come as part of a family or alone. However, some single people say that being part of a church often feels more difficult than it does for married people, and report that they can often feel marginalised or excluded. This was why it was felt important to become a single friendly church.  A small group was set up, of which I am part, to complete the steps required to allow us to register as that. The first step was to complete an audit, which was an illuminating experience and has allowed us to view this issue with a critical eye. We have carefully considered everything we do, from how we welcome people, the language we use, our teaching and how we engage single people in social activities to give a few examples. We were able to recognise all the good things that we do as a church, (and there is a lot!), and identify the next steps. As a group we would meet in each other’s homes and share a meal together. This has created a greater intimacy among us, and has led to friendships forming. We have also found that conducting meetings in a less formal setting has helped the discussions to flow and has helped with decision making.

Making changes

While we still have a way to go with the process, we have made some positive changes. We have changed our approach to promoting services on Mothers’ and Fathers’ days. We still promote these services, but we also endorse our other daily service as an alternative for those who may find these celebrations difficult. For a long time, we have included a space in services to celebrate life events such as birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and the births of children/grandchildren, but we are now encouraging church members to celebrate other life events as well, like getting a new job or a house move. We have also set up a church walking group. We go on a gentle walk which is accessible to everyone and we always stop off for refreshments somewhere. We have more church lunches after our Sunday morning service and we are encouraging people to host others for lunch in their homes.

Biblical teaching

As well as promoting the social side of church, we felt it was important that our teaching also fell in line with our agenda of being welcoming to singles. In the eyes of God, being married and being single are equally good ways to live. As well as teaching on marriage, singleness and the importance of friendship, we also have a plan for a sermon series focusing on single people in the Bible. There is also an intention for all members of our church to become part of a small group, as this is where intimacy between other members of our church family can really grow.Our work in this area is ongoing. So far, we have seen some great fruit from what we have been doing and I am excited to see where my church will go from here.

You can visit the Single Friendly Church website by clicking here

This article was originally published in the Winter 2025 edition of the TFT magazine, Ascend. Click the button below to download your copy.